Rain

Listening to: Sackcloth in ashes- Small Leaks Sink Ships
Feeling: angry

Hello reader[s].
How has your week been so far?
Mine hasn't been awful. I can't say that i'm in the best mood at the moment.
So let's get started on my useless rambling, shall we?

Let me start by saying that i haven't had a bad week. Thinking in retrospct, I'd say this week has been one of my better ones so far.
Aside from my monthly visit from a friend coming on my one year anniversary of being with my boyfriend. [may 31st.]
NOT that you needed to know :]
Anyways.
I've been seeing lately that I'm getting angry for smaller and smaller things.
and I'm having a harder time containing my anger.
Though I'd say i'm not a bad person/girlfriend/friend, I'd say I have some very poor qualities in myself that make me question just how good a person/girlfriend/friend I am.
And I know those poor qualities are beginning to show themselves although I try my best to hide them.
I know no one's perfect, but I just dont want my flaws to damage/affect any relationship I have with anyone.
I honestly need to look into anger management classes. I'm a great hot mess.
next topic.
I'm not calling out anyone in paticular when I say this.
But i have a real pet peeve of people asking what's wrong.
I know i sound like a bitch, and I know I have no good reason for it to bother me.
But just, sometimes I feel that most people who ask if there's something wrong, already know theres something wrong; thats why they asked.
Now I know I'm guilty of asking the "whats wrong?" question, so please feel free to call my a hypocrite at any given point in time.
But most times, instead of asking whats wrong, I focus on trying to cheer them up.
My whole thing is, it's a little awkward when there is something wrong, you just dont feel comfortable talking to them about it [whether it be that they asked at an innapropriate time, or you just dont feel comfortable talking about it with them]. that's why a majority of people respond with "nothing, I'm fine." It's a way of backing out of an uncomfortable situation.
So with that, I focus on trying to make them smile, rather than getting to the root of the problem. If they want to tell me what's wrong, great, I'd be glad to help. But in the meantime, I just want to know that I can make someone in a better mood without even knowing what the problem is.

Well those are the main things I wanted to talk about.
Now some things that have nothing to do with anything.

I wish school were over already. It's unbelievebly hot in my room. I miss my boyfriend more than anything right now. I'm feeling incredibly lonely at the moment. I slept my entire evening away so now i'll be up until at least 1 in the morning. I want ice cream. I wish my air conditioner was just magically in my window right now. I wish my mother would stop stalling and just sign me up for dance classes already. I'm noticing I gained weight but I refuse to weigh myself; I'll just depress myself.

Good enough for now.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.


Embrace Life.
Embrace Love.
Peace.